Tuesday, February 19, 2008

A disappointment

It's been a few weeks in the making but today we learned that we will not be adding a new family to our church after all. The job here just was not a match. It is disappointing for all involved, but we trust that our God has good things in store, again for everyone involved.

This reminded me of my own experiences that are now nearly two to three years past. (Yes, hard to believe that our adventure was conceived that long ago, although we didn't know it at the time that we would end up in Petersburg.) I recall going through times of questioning, doubts; of wondering what in the world God was trying to do, of wondering if I was even on the right path, and why things kept going in ways that I didn't think was right. It was a stressful time, but also a time of incredible personal and spiritual growth. I wouldn't want to go through it again, but I am happy for the experience.

My blog records show me that I get random hits from all over the world. There is a good chance someone reading this might be going through a season, perhaps an extended one, of uncertainty and aimlessness. Maybe a time when nothing seems to be going right. I'm not in your exact shoes traveling your exact path. But as one who has traveled a similar journey, I think I can empathize. I've been through depression, and anger, and the temptation to toss in the towel and opt for the easier, more certain, more comfortable, but less fulfilling paths. Through my experience, I've gained confidence in my God. I know that He does not let His children down. It may feel like it. It may seem like a long time. But when the time is right, when the circumstances are right, He will clear the way. It takes active waiting. Passive and sleepy waiting won't do. You have to remain alert and ready. Use this time of waiting to develop deeper levels of trust and faith in God.

I think that in a way, the periods of active waiting that we sometimes go through are smaller versions of waiting for Jesus to return. Perhaps it is in these smaller versions that we learn how to wait for Jesus Himself. And maybe it is in these smaller waitings (because the end does come) that we are assured that the end of the greater waiting will eventually come to pass. While we are actively waiting, we continue to engage life, we continue to learn, we continue to interact with the world, we remain alert to signs from our God, and we follow the signs wherever they may lead.

No comments: