20.5 inch Dolly!

A few days ago I found a site that provides fishing forecasts and times during each day when fishing is expected to be best. This morning that happened to be between 4:12 and 6:12 a.m. I was awake at 4:12, but decided to wait until about 5 a.m. to go out.

It wasn’t too long before I caught the middle (smallest) of the three. The hook was embedded pretty deep and it took some work to get out. I then cast out and the knot on the hook must have come apart and the lure went flying away. This makes two lures lost within 12 hours. I was happy to get a fish, but not happy to lose my second lure in such a short period.

Some 40 minutes later though, I caught the bottom one pictured. It was HUGE. I decided that I still had some time so I continued a while longer and caught the top one – not as big, but still quite large. The three caught today easily make up for the lures I lost.

After bringing them back home I measured the big one at 20.5 inches and weighed in (already gutted) at 2.25 lbs. Before gutting it might have weighed in around 2.75 lbs. – a very good size for a Dolly Varden. I think I’ll be filleting and/or butterflying them and probably grilling them over a wood charcoal fire today.

First cutthroat catch this year

I was out in the rain this afternoon trying my luck at catching fish. After about an hour of no luck it appeared I had hooked a small-ish fish – except that it didn’t act like any Dolly. The fish jumped and flipped out of the water over and over again. I thought for a few seconds there that perhaps the fish had escaped the hook, but as I reeled in the line I could feel tension again and did see that I caught it. After bringing it up I could see that it had black spots – definitely not a Dolly, but a cutthroat trout. It was smaller than 11-inches so back into the water it went after removing the hook. No pics, since it was raining and my hands were wet – I didn’t want to fish out my BlackBerry to take a snap and risk dropping it in the water. Another half and hour or so later, I caught a 16-inch Dolly which will be dinner in a couple of days.

Sea Anemone

This morning I learned a new peril of fishing at low tide. The low tide today was –0.8. What that means in practical terms is that the tide line is now at subtidal level, exposing things like sea urchins, sea stars, and sea anemones. (The tide will continue to become even lower for the remainder of the week, making it a great time for exploring the beaches.)

I went out to fishing and caught and released a couple of small Dollies. I was doing well keeping the lure out of snags and rocks. And then it happened again: Only a few seconds after casting out and starting to reel back in the lure hit something that wouldn’t let go. It was still in the deeper waters so at first I thought perhaps the lure had caught a huge kelp. I tugged and tugged without it releasing. I thought it was rather odd: did the lure sink that quickly or was there an isolated shallow spot where it got caught? I pulled and tugged, moved around and pulled. And then I felt some response to the tugging, if ever so slowly. I continued to pull and I could feel continued movement in response. That was good news. I really didn’t want to cut the line and lose another lure. I continued pulling and pulling until I could see that there was something moving along the floor of the sea. I thought maybe it was a huge clump of seaweed. That is, until I finally got it dragged up onto the beach. That’s when I saw that I had caught a sea anemone firmly attached to a small rock. (More precisely, it had probably caught the lure when it touched one of the feelers.) It took some pulling to extract the hook out of it, but it did finally come out. I’m not sure how much the rock weighed, but I’m pretty confident that it weighed at least as much as a good sized salmon and now I know that my tackle and knots should hold up to a salmon.

New personal record catch

Caught around noon today: 18-3/4 inches.

Today was a much better fishing day. It is overcast and maybe that is bringing more fish to where I fish. I had a total of four bites during the hour I was out fishing.

Caught a fish at low tide

Catching a fish at low tide is a new experience for me. In the past when I’ve gone out at low tide, I’ve only caught no fish but often ended up with lost lures due to them getting stuck on rocks and snags at the bottom of the shallow waters. As a result I’ve avoided fishing during low tide.

The past two days I have had very little success fishing at high tide. Yesterday I got just three bites all from tiny fish and today just one during high tide, again a small fish. This isn’t to say I didn’t enjoy myself. For instance, I witnessed a fish doing a back flip out of the water, and I also saw a fish skip across the water.

Over the past couple of months I have been improving my casting and reeling in skills. When I started I didn’t have much control over the direction or the distance of the cast, and I frequently fumbled during the reeling and I didn’t have a good feel for the lures so that they would sink and catch on the bottom.

With the lack of luck during high tide and my increased confidence in controlling the lure, I ventured out during low tide. During the first few minutes I saw a decent sized fish following the lure a couple of times. Then nothing happened for a few more minutes as I kept casting and reeling, casting and reeling.

At around twenty minutes I cast it out and started reeling in. Then I felt strong resistance. I pulled back but whatever it hit wouldn’t let go. I pulled and pulled thinking I had finally gotten unlucky and got the lure stuck. That’s when I saw the line moving… Snags don’t move, I thought to myself and realized it was either a huge piece of kelp or a fish. I tugged and reeled in a bit more and when the line began to move left and right I realized it had to be a fish. I brought it in and could see that it was indeed a fish – not huge, but not small either. I carefully reeled it in closer to shore and then flipped it off onto the beach where I stunned it, bled it, gutted it, and took it home.

In other news, summer vacation has begun for the kids, and they received brand-new iPhones today.

Notebook PC is malfunctioning

For six months now my notebook PC has been exhibiting increasing problems. This past week it finally got to the place where it has become nearly unusable.

The first problem was its built-in WiFi began to fail intermittently. More often than not, the hardware failed to be recognized at all and wouldn’t show up in the list of known hardware. I could live with this problem by connecting a LAN cable or using a separate WiFi receiver. I contacted HP support but they gave me the usual try this and that, which I already had.

The second problem was that it began to randomly shut itself down with no warning. It seemed to happen most often when the CPU was running at its max and when the physical area near the CPU became very hot. I’m not sure why this didn’t happen when the PC was new, but it began to happen and with increasing frequency. Again, I could sort of live with this as long as I was careful to not run too many applications simultaneously.

However, the third problem introduced an unlivable problem. I had placed the PC on standby mode and when I tried to wake it, the power returned but operation did not. I forced a shutdown and tried restarting, but it would not. I looked up the support pages and found instructions on performing a hard reset, which I did, but it didn’t seem to do any good. The instructions also described a way of forcing boot into the BIOS to run a system check. I did that and the instructions actually worked.

I ran the system check and there the fourth issue appeared. The comprehensive hard disk check reported that the drive needed to be replaced. After running the diagnostics, I was able to boot back into Windows, so I backed up my data onto an external HD. Unfortunately I discovered my desktop PC doesn’t recognize this HD, so I had to back up the data to a different external HD.

With the data backed up I looked to see if the extended service plan I had originally purchased (through Office Depot) was still valid. Fortune was with me this time: I still have about five weeks left until its expiration! I called up the service and described the problems listed above. I didn’t get the runaround that I was afraid I would get (and expected) but I was promptly told that a service order had been opened and they would be shipping me a box in which to return the unit.

I am now working on my desktop PC which is not really adequate for all that I need. It too has some issues, mainly with the Operating System, so it is not a permanent solution. It doesn’t have a camera, speakers or microphone, so I am not able to run Skype on it, for instance.

I hadn’t been doing a whole lot with photography recently, and one reason is because of my various computer issues. I can’t run Photoshop on the desktop PC, and because of the suspected CPU/heat issues I didn’t want to try it on my notebook PC.

Since the beginning of the year I had been considering getting a new desktop PC for precisely the reason stated; however, I did not sense a decisive conviction that I should do it. I had been praying about it for weeks and I continued to be ambivalent about what I should do. It was during the Memorial Day weekend when I developed a strong feeling that instead of a desktop PC, I should instead go with the Apple iPad. Now I seem to understand why that happened. I most likely will not have the notebook PC back before we take off on our summer travels and the iPad will now serve as its replacement. This whole incident is quite annoying, but it appears now that things have and will work out okay.

New personal record catch

High tide is now in the early morning hours (well, it also happens in the evening, but right in middle of or after dinner), so I went out at 5:30 a.m. this morning. I ended up with six bites, 3 of them small fish which I either didn’t hook too strongly and allowed to escape, or caught and released. One large catch escaped. These are the two with which I returned home.

While catching the smaller of the two there was a lady and her dog walking nearby on the beach. The dog was very excited to see the fish flopping about in the water and wanted it for himself.

The larger one was caught not too long afterwards. As soon as I felt it hook and began reeling it back in, I knew that it was going to be a big one, and I was not disappointed. I measured its length at 18-5/8 inches (1/8-inch longer than my previous record) and weighed in a 2-1/4 pounds (1/4-pound heavier than my previous record).

An interesting day

Contrary to the weather forecast provided yesterday, today started out with warm sunshine. Elise and I went to the cemetery to be part of the Memorial Day service. This city hasn’t really done anything for this day in the past and due to one veteran’s concern last week, a service was quickly put together.

There were prayers, songs, and readings. I was tapped to read the last half of Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. All in all, it was a short, but very fitting service honoring veterans as well as remembering those currently serving in the armed forces. This will likely become the first annual Memorial Day service in Petersburg.

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We’ve been watching the Babylon 5 TV series during the past few weeks. They were broadcast in the mid-1990’s and we enjoyed them then. We discovered that our library now has all five seasons on DVDs so we’ve been working slowly through them. This afternoon we watched four of the episodes from Season 2.

Afterwards, since the forecast rain still hadn’t arrived I went out to fish again. I forgot to bring along pliers and after I happened to catch a small Dolly, I found I couldn’t remove the hook without endangering my own finger. I called Elise and asked her to bring pliers. With pliers, I removed the hook but by this time the fish had weakened. I had planned to release this one but it was no longer in good condition for releasing so I ended up keeping it. I caught another large one not too longer afterwards.

All the while I was fishing, I was observing changes in weather. One moment the sky was bright and the winds warm. The next, clouds obscured the sun and even a few, scattered, heavy raindrops fell accompanied by strong, cool breezes. Over by the horn cliffs I could see rain falling and clouds increasing.

Right as I was starting to think about packing it up, I saw a flash of lightning. Then and there the decision was made for me. Open water and fishing pole are not a very good combination for a lightning storm. Taking up pole and bucket I hurried the block up home.

While cleaning the catches the storm landed on the island. There were flashes and thunderclaps that continued for a good 30 minutes. In the three-and-a-half years we’ve resided here, I do believe this is our first such storm experience. The right weather conditions don’t happen around here that often. The long, warm weather colliding with a cooler front from the north must have produced just the right conditions this afternoon.

After supper we finished watching Season 2. And now Amy is wondering what happens, since each of the first four seasons ends in a cliff hanger.

Leaping off the bridge

Yesterday afternoon we drove out to Blind Slough for lunch and the afternoon. It was a very warm day – over 70F degrees. One of the summer traditions in Petersburg for many people is jumping off the bridge that crosses over the slough.

Shelley had jumped off a number of times in years past, but Amy never had (and neither has Elise or I). With great trepidation Amy leapt off, but after that first jump she proceeded to jump off nine more times. Elise joined in one of the jumps.

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Law of Unintended Consequences

Over at the Spectrum blog an article was recently posted, Citing Apostasy, Michigan Conference Removes La Sierra University From Employee Subsidy.

I am not going to debate or opine whether or not they have or don’t have the right to do that, nor whether they were right or wrong in doing so. I am going to discuss a possible unintended consequence of the action.

For probably as long as the denomination has existed in an organized fashion, I’m sure people have questioned actions of its organizations and leaders. One of the few ways in which ordinary, individual members have any say is through tithes. Of course any church member knows the official position on the giving of tithe: The Conference is the “storehouse” and it is mandatory for members to give tithe to the Conference. All of us know that this has been disregarded throughout history, in greater or lesser numbers; perhaps greater in more recent years.

What the action of the Michigan Conference does is grant official legitimacy to withholding promised funds in order to express displeasure towards and to attempt to coerce change from an official denominational entity. It sets an official precedent that monetary means may be used by one church entity against another. It provides justification for all the members and churches in the past, present, and future who don’t approve of official policies and actions to withhold tithes and offerings.

First blast of summer

The temperatures today rose into the 70’s and provided for a sunny, hot day. This is supposed to continue for one more day and then clouds are coming in and cooling down again.

I spent a bit of the morning washing our pickup truck. I can’t recall the last time it was done, so I’m pretty sure it’s been at least a year – maybe longer. The dirt around some of the lower panels are so encrusted that I don’t think it will every truly come off.

While washing the car the base of the wash wand that I was using (has a brush and nozzle combined) popped out and it would no longer stay in properly so I ended up using just the brush portion to scrub the vehicle. I tried to put it in but after it popped out again and I got one side of me all wet, I decided that I would not try that again. After the wash I took a look at it and if I push it all the way back in, it may stay in.

Also, the faucet handle broke apart in the middle of the wash while I was fighting the wand. It looks like I have a bit of plumbing work to do.

Today was nice beside the water. The breeze wasn’t too strong but there was enough for it to be cooling. Yesterday the breeze was quite strong and cold. Even so I spent a couple of hours out there fishing, even though it didn’t look very promising at all. I was right: I hooked two but didn’t actually catch anything.

Today was a different story. The waters were much calmer and I caught a couple small fish that I released. While releasing one of them, it decided to poop all over one pant leg – my nice clean jeans. I was just about to call it quits for the day and cast out one more time. I felt a strong tug then the line going away. I tightened the reel and began pulling and reeling. It was a good strong fight and in the end I landed another 18.5 inch Dolly.

I have lots of fish in the refrigerator now: 9 Dollies in the freezer, 1 in the refrigerator, and also in the freezer a small king salmon that one of our church friends brought over yesterday. I also have leftover fish curry that I made yesterday from three Dolly Vardens.

Experiments with curried fish

After two weeks of daily consumption of salted and fire grilled fish, not too surprisingly I was starting to get a little tired of it. It was time to move on to some different preparations.

This evening I put together a simple marinade/sauce of vegetable oil, garlic, ginger, cumin, coriander, turmeric, salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, and lime juice. I placed the fish on a large piece of heavy-duty foil, sliced a few vertical incisions into the sides, then brushed the sauce on the inside and outside of the fish. I closed up the foil tightly around the fish and baked it in the oven at 425F for about 30 minutes.

The result was quite good. I finished one side of the fish this evening. As I took the other side off of the bones, placed the pieces in a different container, and poured the remaining sauce on top of them, I realized this was actually a fish curry of sorts. This may not be the usual way to cook curry, but it might be a good way to make curry out of a whole fish. It’s much easier to pull the flesh off the bones after it’s cooked. I still have more fish already in the refrigerator and freezer, and I’m sure I’ll be catching more so I have plenty of supplies with which to experiment.

Personal Record

I didn’t get very many bites, but the one I did get broke my previous personal best. The big one pictured is 18.5 inches and weighed in a 2 pounds. All of these were caught with various Kastmaster lures; the largest one with the biggest lure that I have – a 10 oz one.

International Food Fest

The homeschool art class got together this evening to show off their projects they had worked on during the last several months and to sample foods from different cultures and/or eras. There were foods from Germany, the 1920’s USA, the Civil War, Spain, etc. Amy selected Japanese for our family.

I started some of the work yesterday, preparing sweet red bean paste (粒アン) and a salad in sweet vinegar (酢の物). For the salad I went out to the beach and foraged some sea lettuce. Although it comes from a different family of algae, it seemed close enough in texture to wakame (わかめ), a type of kelp.

This morning I started preparing sweet black beans (黒豆) at 5 a.m. I went out to fish at 6 a.m. and caught the two Dollies as reported earlier. After spending some time with the ministers in town, I returned home and resumed work on dinner.

I continued with making daifuku (大福) – mochi (though I used sweet rice flour) wrapped around the sweet red bean paste. I marinated some tofu for frying later in the afternoon. I cooked some carrots, eggs, and shiitake mushrooms to use in sushi. I cooked the rice (or rather, I washed the rice and the rice cooker cooked the rice). I prepared a spicy miso sauce to go over the tofu, and also chopped some green onions to go on top of that. I fried the tofu and set it aside for the assembly to be completed right before dinner.

While starting to take a brief breather, Shelley called and said she needed her costume for a play right now. So I tried to start the car, and it wouldn’t. I called Elise, she came over, picked up Amy and the costume, and left. Elise brought home some daikon and romaine lettuce. I shredded the daikon for use as a bed for a grilled fish, then shredded some carrots to use as accents. I went out and picked some dandelion blossoms, also to be used as decoration.

I got the sushi seasonings mixed into the rice and Elise went to work stuffing inari sushi. I put together futo-maki sushi after she finished her part.

I got the outdoor grill fired up and the fish salted and oiled. Then it went onto the grill and cooked nicely. When done it was placed on a platter with a bed of romaine lettuce and the shredded daikon on top of that. The carrots and dandelion blossoms would be arranged at location.

While this was going on, Amy was getting her kimono on and Shelley trying to get the obi tied properly. In the end, it probably didn’t get done quite right (Shelley wasn’t happy with it) but I don’t think anyone noticed that it wasn’t right.

We went to the Bible Church and set everything up, putting in the finishing touches. There was quite a crowd present. The children (and a few adults) were dressed up in cultural and period clothing. The food and company was good and a pleasant evening was had by all.

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Morning catch

I awoke before 5 a.m. this morning and after doing a few things headed out with fishing rod at around 6 a.m. It was off and on sprinkle and drizzle, but not bad enough to turn back.

As I approached the water I could see fish jumping about all over the place. During the next hour I caught two, large Dollies. Both gave a great fight and was certainly worth the time I spent. The biggest one measured about 17-1/2 inches and weighed in a 1 lb. 10 oz.

I’m just curious why, with all the fish jumping about, these were the only two that bit… Ah well, that’s okay. The two that I got are nice and big. Especially in the larger one you can see the family resemblance to salmon (Dollies are in the same family as salmon).

Little Norway 2010

Today was one of the main days of the four-day long Little Norway festival. This year marks the 100th year of Petersburg. Below are some of the sights on Main Street this afternoon.

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Fishing today

I purchased a few new lures today and tried one out. It was a small-ish Kastmaster lure with a red stripe down one side. The result? I landed eight fish, but one came off the hook and escaped as I made a frantic effort to chase it down the beach, and another one was just too small to keep. In the end I came home with six fish.

While out there, a whole flock of bald eagles landed on the beach (apparently finding some edible stuff) not too far from me. I could swear some of them were eyeing the fish that I had caught as they flew above me. The photo below shows just three of them since most of them decided to fly up while I had the camera out.

Nice catch

I went out fishing for about an hour and a half today and caught what you see in the photo. The largest one there is 16 inches and 1.5 pounds. It was a nice, fat one. Today was the first time I caught more than one during a single outing. I have almost a week’s worth of fish now, unless I share them with someone :)

What Christians and Churches need more of

I came across this passage in my devotionals today:

Therefore, since we have this ministry, just as God has shown us mercy,  we do not become discouraged. But we have rejected  shameful hidden deeds,  not behaving with deceptiveness or distorting the word of God, but by open proclamation of the truth we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience before God. (2 Cor. 4:1-2 NET)

Secrecy and manipulation is unbecoming (and according to this passage, is sin) of those who could call themselves Christians and of those who claim to work for the church.

Instead Christians ought to be more transparent, more open, allowing other Christians their freedom to act according to their conscience and as the Holy Spirit directs.

Psalm of the Day

Today’s psalm is Psalm 94. It is very apropos for what I am currently feeling.

O Lord, the God who avenges! O God who avenges, reveal your splendor! Rise up, O judge of the earth! Pay back the proud…! He will pay them back for their sin. He will destroy them because of  their evil; the Lord our God will destroy them.

The Dollies are back

Since late March I’ve been going down the block to see if any fish were out in the waters yet. I didn’t see any signs of them until yesterday afternoon when I saw schools of fish jumping about, but I didn’t catch anything.

This morning I changed the lure from a colorful spinner to a basic, metallic spoon. I went out and on my third cast caught my biggest Dolly so far – 17 inches long and 19 oz. I don’t have a pan big enough to fry it in, so I’ll have to either fire up the outside grill, or broil it in the oven.

I will be participating in the annual Blessing of the Fleet this afternoon. I hope the weather holds out for that. The forecast is rain, and the service is typically held outside.

A week of sun

Today marks over a week of continuous sunshine at this rainforest island. The temperature is in the lower 50s. I finally took down my bike for a spin out the road and back – about 1-1/2 hours. I caught a cold late last week and hadn’t felt completely well until today.

Shelley has been in Haines since the beginning of the week at ArtFest, a gathering of Southeast art teachers and students to learn about making different kinds of art. She is on her way back now and will arrive very early tomorrow morning.

This Saturday the Medical Center is hosting a Health Fair. We will have a booth there handing out small loaves of homemade bread.

Misfortunes

On top of all that is already going on, I was involved in a minor auto accident yesterday. And then this morning I noticed that the water pressure was low. I made sure no fixture inside the house was running, then looked out the front window to see water running out of the ground…

It almost seems like life, the universe, and everything has decided to conspire against me.

Went to the clinic

Elise made me go see a doctor yesterday :)

A hypothesis from the visit is that the northern latitude and the associated darkness may be depleting Vitamin D stores and affecting serotonin levels, contributing to some of the problems I’ve been experiencing. We shall see how things go after a few weeks of treatments to begin correcting this.

Is it okay to take a break from religion?

When religion, its routines, traditions, and the whole culture around it becomes a source of negative stress, is it okay to take a break from it? What if God becomes so hopelessly intertwined with the sources of stress? Is it okay to let God go for a while?

This is basically where I am at now. I think that in order for spirituality to return to something healthy in my life, I may need to cast off all the religious traditions that have negative associations. I may need to start in a new place where I can view my past religious experiences as an outsider. Is it possible to get to a place where I no longer have any emotional attachments to religion?

I am well on my way to fearing daily living: interacting with people, phone calls, talking, sleeping. I want out of this misery and pain.

Spiritual leadership != business leadership

Mike Bonem over at LeadershipJournal.net writes in his article “Good to Great to Godly”:

"We need more structure in our decision making. Without that discipline, we'll never accomplish anything."

"We're a church, not a business. We need to rely on God. We can't operate like the corporate world."

Ever been on one side or the other of this argument? Or perhaps in the middle? The tensions are present in most churches in America today. As corporate "best practices" are applied to church life, church leaders struggle to make sense of it all.

…

In the church, the "bottom line" is life transformation, which defies simple cost-benefit analysis. We wonder whether it's better to see one new convert or five believers who grow significantly in their faith. Or whether the dollar spent on children's programming produces more fruit than one spent on youth ministry. Or how to make the trade-off between music ministry or benevolence. So we wrestle with priorities and resource allocation, trying to make the right choices as we pursue a goal that is sometimes vague and elusive. What kind of leadership is needed to move from blurriness to clarity, from seeing through simple business lenses to seeing more as God sees?

…

My experience is that church leaders—senior pastors, other staff, and laity—need a style that transcends both of these, a leadership approach that is spiritual and situational (sometimes legislative, sometimes executive). Even as we create structured processes for making important decisions, we must allow time and space for God to speak into the hearts of leaders. Sometimes it's the pastor who hears God most clearly; at other times one or more lay leaders may have a divine insight. In other words, the "best practices" from business have much to offer regarding decision making, but they omit the greatest asset available to congregational leaders—the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

…

Jim Collins' monograph Good to Great and the Social Sectors has an interesting line before the title: "Why Business Thinking Is Not the Answer." Is Collins right? Yes and no. It's clear that the unfiltered, wholesale adoption of best practices from business is not the answer. The church is not a business, and if we run it like one, God might end up as just one of the constituents to be considered, not the One for whom the whole thing exists.

Easter Sunday, Pt. 2

Three of us, Shelley, Amy, and myself, went to the Presbyterian church for brunch, an egg hunt, and service. (Elise went to bed.) The brunch was good, then Shelley and Amy got roped into helping hide the eggs for the younger children. We watched them look for the hidden eggs, some which were up on low roofs and in trees. We got to watch a young girl with her Easter dress go scamper up a tree in pursuit of eggs… Shelly and Amy returned home after that while I stayed for the service.

Easter Sunday

It was a frigid morning. Right at the freezing point. But unlike yesterday afternoon and evening, the clouds broke and the rains stopped. It was quite a picturesque morning.

There were perhaps close to 100 people at Sandy Beach Park, looking out over Frederick Sound and to the Horn Cliffs. It was mostly cloudy, but enough breaks in the clouds to let shafts of sunlight through onto the mountains and the water.

The sunrise service (okay, technically not sunrise since that is about 6 a.m. and the service started about 7 a.m.) was a reading of the resurrection account of John 20 with singing between passages.

I got to provide the reflection at the end of the service. Here is the text of what I spoke.

• I'm sure we've all had our times of disappointments and discouragements
• Losing a job, or not getting the one you really wanted
• Receiving notice that, regrettably, your application was denied
• A word from the doctor: I'm afraid there is no cure
• Losing a home, car, a boat to an accident, or even worse, to someone else's negligence
• Watching your child suffer; bad enough if they made the wrong choices that got them into it, but worse when it appears there is no good reason, or because of someone else's malice
• Or how about when you're hoping and praying God will work things out and things don't turn out that way? When things seem to go from bad to worse?
• Have you ever felt like hope died?
• I wonder what kinds of emotions and thoughts the women watching the crucifixion and burial had
• Disbelief that it even happened…
• Grief that their loved one was no more…
• Anger at those that caused it: Judas, the Jewish leaders, Pilate, the Roman soldiers…
• Anger at God for not stopping it?
• Sense of betrayal by God…?
• Sense of betrayal by Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus for not stopping it…?
• Discouragement…
• Depression…
• Emptiness…
• Loss of hope…
• After all, this was the Messiah, the Christ, the One that they had pinned their hopes upon
• Hopes for a brighter future -
• A future free from foreign occupation and oppression
• A future where nothing bad would happen again
• A future where righteousness and justice would reign
• In their minds -
• All of that died when Jesus died
• All of that was buried when Jesus was buried
• All of that was sealed away when the Roman seal was placed upon the tomb
• Yet something brought them back to the tomb on Sunday morning, in the wee, twilight hours
• What was it?
• A sense of duty, of needing to finish the burial rituals left incomplete?
• A feeling that they, the long-time, public followers of Jesus ought to perform the final burial honors, instead of those secret disciples who hurriedly buried the body on Friday?
• Simply the Jewish tradition of mourning at the burial site for three days? Perhaps
• But perhaps it was because they wanted to be with Jesus again, even if just his body…
• A hope that being near his body would bring back good memories -
• Of being loved and accepted,
• Of having worries and anxieties banished,
• Of receiving a sense of confidence and courage
• That somehow being reminded of Jesus and his presence
• Would bring back hope, and meaning, and purpose
• As the women approached the tomb they are stopped in their tracks by an earthquake
• "This can't be good," is probably the thought that goes through their minds
• Their fears are confirmed when the tomb is open and the body is gone
• "Who stole the body? Who would dare take away from them the one last reminder of Jesus?"
• The little bit of hope they had left is quickly extinguished
• Then they encounter an angel
• "Don't be afraid," he says, "Jesus is alive, just as he said he would"
• "Look inside and see where he was laid, then go tell the disciples about what you have seen"
• One by one, the women examine the tomb
• It is empty, except for the burial cloths and the face cloth
• No grave thief would unwrap the body before taking it…
• Could it be true?
• Is Jesus truly alive?
• A breath of fresh air seems to bring life to the dying flames of hope
• With cautious expectation, the women leave the tomb and hurry to tell the other disciples
• But before they are even completely out of the grove, they come upon Jesus
• "Greetings," he says and they recognize him immediately
• They rush up to his feet and clutch it, afraid to let go, afraid to lose him again, afraid that their hopes might be dashed again, afraid of being afraid again
• Jesus knows what is going on in their minds, in their hearts
• "Don't be afraid," he says
• "Go on and tell the disciples and I will see them - I will see you"
• Jesus had never lied to them
• Even his death, they now realize, he had spoken about it many times before it happened
• Confidence is recovered
• Faith is restored
• Hope is renewed
• Prior to the resurrection, the women had hoped for a particular future of their own understanding
• A faulty hope
• Even though the object of hope was based on Jesus
• After the resurrection, the women begin to understand that Jesus is the hope, that Jesus is enough
• The cross served to crucify false hopes and expectations, to tear away facades and masks
• The resurrection gave birth to genuine hope
• Genuine hope is -
• A hope that is as much about the present as it is about the future
• A hope where the future outcome is absolutely certain
• A hope where we are free to live in the present because we have no worries about the future
• A hope where we are able to overcome suffering, struggles, and trials of the moment because there is no question about the final result
• A hope where even if things don't get better in this life, even if we don't understand the why's of this life, we don't give up because being with Jesus is enough to give us ultimate meaning, purpose, and direction for all that happens
• A hope that frees us to really live
• "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead." 1 Pet 1:3

The problem I have with tech support

Yesterday, the cable Internet connection was not functioning correctly for a couple of hours. All I wanted to know was if the company was aware of the problem.

I call up the toll-free support number and go through the multiple menus to get to tech support. The response I get is, “No, we aren’t aware of any problems.” That was exactly what I expected, but not what I wanted to hear.

At this point, support has two options: 1) go find out if this is a widespread problem, or 2) assume the problem is with my connection and go through the scripted steps to try to resolve it.

Of course the support side has no idea that I used to be a professional in the network and PC security business and I don’t call support unless I’ve exhausted the obvious and not-so-obvious solutions and workarounds. I don’t call unless I’m pretty certain the problem is not with my end of things. (After all, I hate wasting my time with support – and their time too…) But support opts for option two, when I would much rather have them go with option one and call me back. Even an, “I don’t know. We’ll look into it,” would be more welcome than patronizing the support rep and pretend to go through the useless steps.

Yesterday’s example is with the network connection, but I’ve also experienced similar things time and again with other pieces of hardware and software. The assumption is that if I am experiencing a problem, then the problem must likely be with me.

On the other hand, with less experienced and knowledgeable customers, it probably is helpful to look for some obvious failure points: Is the cable connected and secure? What are the status indicators? Did you make any changes recently? Does the Cable TV work?

In my ideal world, when someone calls tech support, the support person would already know the background and experience of the customer and can begin at an appropriate level. They would have already seen me going through troubleshooting procedures so they won’t ask me to repeat them. But it isn’t an ideal world and customers and tech support don’t have an ongoing relationship (well, I hope they don’t…) where that base of knowledge is learned.

I write this because it seems like there are some applications from this experience and these thoughts that might carry over to the arena of church and spiritual communities and life. And that will be left as an exercise for the reader, because I don’t have answers and some of the ideas I have, I haven’t fully thought through yet.

Good Friday

I was part of the annual, Community Good Friday service held this evening, as has been for all the years we’ve been here, at the Lutheran church.

This year, we changed the format from the seven last words of Jesus to taking the account written in Luke 23:26-56, dividing this up into four and having four speakers provide short sermons on each.

I also volunteered to sing a solo. I chose The Weight of the Cross by Christopher Machen. This was placed near the beginning of the service.

The passage I was given to speak upon was Luke 23:50-56. What follows is the detailed outline of the sermon on this passage.

• Joseph of Arimathea "was looking for the kingdom of God"
• This is the final mention of "the kingdom of God" by Luke in his gospel account
• The kingdom of God is one of the major themes in Luke
• By placing Joseph's request of Jesus' body immediately after "looking for the kingdom of God," Luke may be saying that somehow, in Jesus and in his death, the kingdom of God is realized
• Just a few minutes ago we heard that one thief asked Jesus for entry into the kingdom, and Jesus promised that he would be
• What is this kingdom?
• We need to turn back to the very beginning of Jesus' ministry
• Luke 2:43, Jesus said, "I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns as well; for I was sent for this purpose."
• This good news describes the kingdom of God
• What is the good news?
• Luke 2:18-19, Jesus, in Nazareth read from Isaiah, "18The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, 19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor."
• This is the kingdom that Jesus proclaimed and which now Luke portrays as being realized in Jesus through his death
• Why do I say this?
• The final sentence of Luke 23: "On the Sabbath they rested according to the commandment."
• Here is the Sabbath commandment in Deuteronomy 5:12-15
  • 12"'Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy, as the LORD your God commanded you. 13Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 14but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant, or your ox or your donkey or any of your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates, that your male servant and your female servant may rest as well as you. 15 You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the LORD your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Therefore the LORD your God commanded you to keep the Sabbath day.

• Did you catch the last two sentences?
• Are the similarities between this commandment and the last part of Luke 23 coincidental or intentional?
• The command to rest on the Sabbath is tied to deliverance from slavery
• This deliverance was accomplished through an outstretched arm
• Jesus' mission was to "set at liberty those who are oppressed"
• Jesus outstretched his arms on the cross and had his hands nailed to the tree to deliver us from slavery to sin
• Heb 4:9-10, the author of Hebrews writes, "9So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, 10for whoever has entered God’s rest has also rested from his works as God did from his."
• Through Jesus and the cross, God completed the work of making freedom from sin available to us
• Jesus, having completed his work through his death, rested on the Sabbath
• The choice is now ours to make
• Do we enter the kingdom of God and the Sabbath rest it offers?
• Will we choose to cease our attempts to save ourselves and instead, rest in God's completed work of salvation?
• May each of us here this evening enter into the promised Sabbath rest

Maundy Thursday

Today is Maundy Thursday. Most Adventists would say, “Huh?” The word Maundy is derived from the Latin mandatum, meaning “command” (or “mandate”), which is the first word of the commandment (in Latin) in John 13:34 found in English as, “A new command I give you: that you love one another as I have loved you.” Maundy Thursday commemorates the Last Supper and the giving of this “new commandment.”

I attended the worship service at the Presbyterian Church. It was a nice, reflective service. The core of the service consisted of hypothetical reflections on this evening by seven of the disciples that were present. This was followed by communion around the table up front.

Now the reason I’m writing this post is that up until today I hadn’t thought much about the actual setting and how this Passover meal (because that is what it was) would have played out. Even if I had, I hadn’t given it much notice. But I realized how much my particular religious tradition colors how I view this event.

The gospel writers would have assumed their readers already understood, if not participated in, the Jewish Passover meal. So they had no reason to go into all the details, elements, and order of the various components. They only wrote about the key points in the meal where Jesus said or did something significant. (See the present-day Seder order for an idea of the Passover ritual.)

One of the big revelations for me is that the foot-washing was probably not the first thing that happened. Rather the first occurrence of the meal was a blessing offered for the wine. Hand washing then follows the initial blessing. According to one historical resource, The Life and Times of Jesus the Messiah, what Jesus did was instead of performing the ritual hand washing, he stood up to wash his disciples’ feet. Following this, the rest of the meal continues, including breaking the bread, additional drinking, and more blessings.

In my newly acquired copy of The Didache, what I found interesting in the instruction regarding the Eucharist is that rather than the bread followed by wine, it is wine followed by bread. This follows the traditional Jewish Seder order rather than the order given by Paul (1 Corinthians 11:23-26) and the one used by most present-day Christian traditions. What is interesting is Matthew and Mark only record the bread followed by the cup (Matthew 26:26-29; Mark 14:22-25) but Luke records the cup, followed by bread, followed by the cup again (Luke 22:14-21), giving weight to the impression that what is recorded is just a small part of the whole meal.

Another interesting item I discovered is found in Numbers 28 (particularly v. 7, “strong drink” for a daily drink offering; and v. 24, the daily drink offering is to be continued during Passover and the weeklong Feast of Unleavened Bread). All these years I thought that nothing fermented (with yeast, or leavened) was permitted during Passover, but what is this that I read…? Maybe with our modern-day scientific understanding, we’ve over-generalized the term “leaven” that is used in the Bible. Could it be that the Bible really only refers to bread and its associated dough when it says to clean out the leaven for Passover?

As for the idea that Communion is part of the church liturgy, where did that come from? From the picture we read in 1 Corinthians 11:17-34 and also from what the Didache describes, the early Christian community simply met together for meals. During that time, someone would take the bread and wine and bring to remembrance Jesus and the Last Supper. Communion or Eucharist (which simply means “Thanksgiving” – the other “baggage” associated with this term came much later) apparently came to be a ritual around the year 100 with Ignatius of Antioch and the associated strengthening of ecclesiastical authority (c.f, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origin_of_the_Eucharist).

I’m not writing this to say that our interpretations and what we typically do in regards to Communion is wrong. I am writing this to show how our present-day traditions and and assumptions can color how we read Biblical accounts.

It is a revelation to realize that Communion was probably never intended to become a ritual. Rather, the interpretation I have now of Jesus’ words are to simply remember him and remind one another of him whenever we get together for a fellowship meal and share bread and wine (grape juice…).

How to find a leader

From this week’s Leadership Journal Weekly e-mail newsletter is an article, “How Do We Hire? What happens when we let gifts and relationships define our organizational structures?” by John Ortberg.

“We have to break old models of church leadership—not to go to new models, but to go back to an even older model—organization around gifts.”

“But I do have a conviction that when it comes to getting leadership right, 98 percent of the ballgame is relationship. I believe where there is a relationship of joy and commitment and mutual submission and trust and authentic love—then the division of labor issues can flow freely and effectively. But where the relationship is broken, all the org charts in the world can't save it.”

Stormy, stormy

Last night was a very noisy night. The wind was strong and driving the rain into the windows and roofs. I guess it sounded like there was more rain than actually fell since the basement floor wasn’t nearly as wet as I thought it might be. The forecast for this week doesn’t look very promising: quite a bit of rain.

The forecast for Easter Sunday looks decent. The churches hold a sunrise service at a beachside shelter, and driving rain and wind would not be very pleasant. I’ve been asked to give a short sermon right near the close of the service.

Good Friday is also coming up this week and I will be providing a vocal solo and one of the short sermons as part of the community Good Friday service.

Nice weather is not taken for granted

After some rather heavy rains the past several days, today is dry with some sun.

I took advantage of the weather to ride the bike out to milepost 9 and back, a total distance of 20.3 miles. I took it at a moderate pace – not easy, but neither was it too hard. It was the longest time so far this calendar year at 1 hour 20 minutes.

I could be wrong, but I think this may be one of the longer rides I’ve done in March anywhere. Back in Oregon, March was just about the time I put away the indoor trainer and started getting outside. After all, I thought riding outside for fun in temps less than 50 degrees was a bit extreme. Not here though. If it isn’t icy and/or snowing and the sun is out, it’s good enough to go out.

PTSD?

Over the last several weeks things have been going from bad to worse. My anxiety has gotten so high that I cannot even enter the Adventist church grounds without feeling a wave of panic that forces me to leave after just a few minutes. I have been experiencing regular nightmares. If this continues, I don’t know if I will be able to function as a normal person.

Shelley’s artwork

Here is Shelley’s latest work, a hummingbird. It will be submitted to another art contest.

Once I get a new PC to replace the one that died a couple months back, get Photoshop installed on it, and printer hooked up to it, I’ll be able to create prints. Until then, it is only available online.

Sermon: True Treasure

(Click HERE for MP3 sermon audio.)

Text: Luke 12:13-34

Luke 12:31 reads, “Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things [food, clothing; i.e., material needs] will be added to you.”

For those of us in the developed nations, this isn’t a terribly difficult promise. We have not gone without basic needs. But what about Christians, not to mention nonChristians, in areas of the world where hunger and exposure are daily concerns? Did Jesus not really mean what he promised? Is God not powerful enough to keep his promises? Or perhaps, my understanding is deficient…

This sermon, given at the Presbyterian Church, explores this promise in the context of the passages that come before and after. The passage begins with a man coming to Jesus, asking that his inheritance be divided between him and his brother. Jesus, instead of doing that, tells about a parable of a rich, foolish, landowner. In that context Jesus exhorts his disciples to not worry about their basic, daily needs, and instead seek (or pursue) God’s kingdom. Jesus continues his exhortation by saying that his disciples ought to sell their possessions and give to the poor.

By understanding the surrounding context, I believe we can better understand how God has designed the fulfillment of his promise to provide for the basic needs of his children.

Another spring day

Today turned out to be sunny and warm. Okay, so 45 degrees may be cold for many people, but it is definitely spring temperatures here. After Bible study this morning followed by a rather substantial lunch, I went out for another hour long spin on the bike.

After the rather large lunch I thought my body might feel sluggish but that was not at all the case. Rather I felt the best I have in many rides. (Maybe Wii Fit with the Yoga and strength exercises are helping with flexibility and core strength.) In spite of the somewhat breezy conditions I was able to average 16.2 mph over the whole hour, remaining in a low, tucked position for a great part of the ride.

While on the road heading out, just a little ways away from the house, I saw a couple of kids casting out for some fish. Fishing season must be here…

Another spring-like day

This week has been rainy and icy for much of it. Then today came with bright, sunny skies (after the fog burned off).

I walked over to the Presbyterian church in the morning to pick out some hymns for this upcoming Sunday’s worship (where I will be giving the sermon), and also to practice a couple of piano duets that will be played during the prelude.

In the afternoon I took a bike ride out the road to mile 6.62 and back; a total of a little over 15 miles in a little under an hour. This was the longest ride so far this winter and this calendar year. I was feeling pretty good on the bike, getting down into the drops and motoring along at a fairly good pace. I am feeling the effects of the position now though. My sit-bones feel a little sore and my back feels a little stiff.

I’m starting to wonder if there are any herring to be found in the harbor. I am itching to go out and catch some fish. Typically the dock and shore fishing doesn’t really begin until April, but with the warmer winter, I wonder…

Chicken in Creamy Red Curry Sauce

It’s been quite some time since I posted anything cooking related.

For this evening’s meal I put together chicken cooked in a red curry sauce. I browsed a few recipes to get some ideas and refresh my memory as to the different spice combinations and cooking methods.

I had some bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs in the freezer. I have plenty of potatoes. I also had about a cup of cream left in a container. Finally I had a few carrots in the refrigerator. All of that combined with the usual suspects –onion, garlic, ginger, spices – should do the trick. I wanted red curry, not yellow curry, so I used some bright, red paprika and omitted the turmeric. One of the recipes employed white vinegar, but I had a can of diced tomatoes lying around, so I used that to add the acidity to the curry.

If the chicken was already defrosted and I had enough time, I probably would have marinated the chicken, or at least let it sit in brine, but I didn’t have time for that so the chicken turned out a bit bland all by itself. It was fine though eaten with the sauce.

Ingredients

• 1 lb. potatoes
• 4 cloves garlic
• 2 inches fresh ginger, roughly chopped
• 1 Tbsp. vegetable oil
• 4 bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs
• 1 large onion, chopped medium
• salt
• 1 Tbsp. ground cumin
• 1 Tbsp. ground coriander
• 1 tsp. cardamom seeds
• 2 tsp. paprika
• 1/4 tsp. ground cayenne
• black pepper
• 4-5 carrots, large dice
• 1 14.5-oz can diced tomatoes (with juice)
• 1 cup whipping or heavy cream
• More salt to taste

Directions

1. “Bake” potatoes in microwave (many microwaves have a “baked potato” setting – that is what I used). Let cool. Peel and dice into 1-inch chunks.
2. Place garlic and ginger pieces in food processor. Add 2-3 Tbsp. water and process until paste is formed. Set aside.
3. Heat oil in a large sauté pan (I use a 13-inch pan with 2.5-inch high sides with a lid) over medium-high heat. When hot, place chicken pieces in pan and brown, about 5-6 minutes per side. (Use a splatter screen.) Remove and set aside.
4. Without removing pan from heat, add onions into the chicken juices and fat, sprinkle with about 1 tsp. salt, and cook until they become slightly softened. Move onions to the sides of pan and in the open space in center, pour in the garlic-ginger paste. Stir and fry until most of the liquid has evaporated. Combine with the onions and continue to fry until onions are translucent.
5. Move the onion mixture to the sides of pan once more. Pour in the spices (cumin through black pepper) in the open area, stir and fry for about half a minute, then combine with the onions. Stir and fry another minute longer.
6. Add the tomatoes, their juice, cream, and carrots. Bring to a boil then reduce heat to medium-low. Add potatoes and stir gently to combine. Taste sauce and add more salt if desired.
7. Return chicken pieces to pan, skin side up, creating holes in the pan contents so that chicken sits well in the sauce, but without covering the skin. Simmer 18-20 minutes until chicken is fully cooked.

Winter is back

After an almost spring-like January and February, we have been getting snow storms this week. The snow accumulated a several inches on Monday, but by evening the rain started falling, the wind blew and most of the snow melted away.

The snow returned last night but the temperatures were just a little too warm for it to stick around. The snow kept falling through the day, but again, too warm to stay. I did go out for about forty minutes on the bike, braving the strong gusts of wind and the snow.

The weather forecast for the rest of the week calls for more of the same.

Plug: Did God Really Say All That?

James Coffin, senior pastor of the Markham Woods Church of Seventh-day Adventists in Longwood, Florida, writes over at Spectrum, Divining the Voice in My Head.

I often hear the expression (used rather glibly, I must say): “God told me.” The words are typically the preamble to a description of some strongly held conviction. But the expression leaves me uncomfortable…

Anyway, as I read the scriptures, I wonder if maybe the people in Bible times weren’t given to the use and misuse of the “God told me” expression just as we are now. Maybe even more so. “God told” people a lot of things back then, it seems. And judging just from the context and the ethics of the advice given, I think it possible that there may have been times when God gets the credit for something that came from other sources…

I find it fascinating that we attribute actions to God that, if they were engaged in by any human, would call down the strongest of denunciations. Yet we commend God for them. If, for example, any humans had caused another to suffer as Hagar was suffering there in the desert, we would find their role despicable. But we never even blink when suggesting that God told Abraham to take steps that were going to bring such pain to another human. Why…?

Could it be that it was because Abraham [in justifying sending away Hagar and Ishmael] too willingly attributed his own thoughts to God? Could it be that if Abraham had removed the “God told me” phrase from his vocabulary, he would have been forced to ponder more deeply and more critically the thoughts that were running through his mind? Could it be that he would have behaved in a more moral, more ethical, more loving manner if he knew that he personally had to accept responsibility for his actions and couldn’t hang the blame on God?

And could it be that we today need to face up to that same reality?

[Click for article.]

The Suffering of Affliction

This psalm describes my feelings at the present time.

Psalm 88 (NLT)

For the choir director: A psalm of the descendants of Korah. A song to be sung to the tune “The Suffering of Affliction.” A psalm of Heman the Ezrahite.

¹ O Lord, God of my salvation,
      I cry out to you by day.
      I come to you at night.
² Now hear my prayer;
      listen to my cry.
³ For my life is full of troubles,
      and death draws near.
⁴ I am as good as dead,
      like a strong man with no strength left.
⁵ They have left me among the dead,
      and I lie like a corpse in a grave.
   I am forgotten,
      cut off from your care.
⁶ You have thrown me into the lowest pit,
      into the darkest depths.
⁷ Your anger weighs me down;
      with wave after wave you have engulfed me.
Interlude

⁸ You have driven my friends away
      by making me repulsive to them.
   I am in a trap with no way of escape.
⁹ My eyes are blinded by my tears.
   Each day I beg for your help, O Lord;
      I lift my hands to you for mercy.
¹⁰ Are your wonderful deeds of any use to the dead?
      Do the dead rise up and praise you?
Interlude

¹¹ Can those in the grave declare your unfailing love?
      Can they proclaim your faithfulness in the place of destruction?
¹² Can the darkness speak of your wonderful deeds?
      Can anyone in the land of forgetfulness talk about your righteousness?
¹³ O Lord, I cry out to you.
      I will keep on pleading day by day.
¹⁴ O Lord, why do you reject me?
      Why do you turn your face from me?

¹⁵ I have been sick and close to death since my youth.
      I stand helpless and desperate before your terrors.
¹⁶ Your fierce anger has overwhelmed me.
      Your terrors have paralyzed me.
¹⁷ They swirl around me like floodwaters all day long.
      They have engulfed me completely.
¹⁸ You have taken away my companions and loved ones.
      Darkness is my closest friend.

Ten Symptoms of emotionally unhealthy spirituality

1. Using God to run from God
2. Ignoring the emotions of anger, sadness, and fear
3. Dying to the wrong things
4. Denying the past’s impact on the present
5. Dividing our lives into “secular” and “sacred” compartments
6. Doing for God instead of being with God
7. Spiritualizing away conflict
8. Covering over brokenness, weakness, and failure
9. Living without limits
10. Judging other people’s spiritual journey

-- from Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Scazzero, p. 24

Love of Unimaginable Proportions | What do to when you find yourself praying to the quid pro quo god

Love of Unimaginable Proportions
by Mark Galli of Christianity Today

A couple of recent conversations suggest how hard it is to exorcize the quid pro quo god. Quid pro quo is a Latin phrase meaning "something for something." The quid pro quo god is one who does something for us if we do something for him, and the one who refuses to do something for us, or even punishes us, if we fail to do something for him...

When we find ourselves explaining that God is "doing this for my own good," or secretly striving "to do better," or saying to ourselves that "I deserve my fate," you can be sure we are in the presence of the quid pro quo god, the god of fear and just desserts...

[Read full article]

Pre-show radio interview with drama cast

If anyone is interested in listening to it, KFSK, the local public radio station, interviewed the cast and staff of Alice in Wonderland prior to the show. Shelley is heard in the interview towards the beginning. There is also a photo of the cast in front of the set.

Protecting the Shine: Why Ministers Need Ministry, Too

A recent article from Crosswalk.com begins,

Stained glass windows are a lot like pastors. They're really good at hiding stormy weather. They always look beautiful; they always appear inspirational; you can even get them to glisten when it's pitch black outside by shining manufactured light through them. Stained glass, like pastors, appears to be immune from the roughness of life. But they're not—unless they're well protected…

The short article concludes,

I know the debates (and war stories) are lengthy and legendary about pastors opening up too much during times of personal need… However, despite the risks, it's essential that those of us in ministry allow others into our lives…

Click to read more…

Ignorance or apathy, which is worse (or preferable)?

Reading List

I currently have a large number of items on my reading list.

So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore (Paperback)

Well-Intentioned Dragons: Ministering to Problem People in the Church

The Pastor's Survival Manual: 10 Perils in Parish Ministry and How to Handle Them

Clergy Self-Care: Finding a Balance for Effective Ministry

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: Unleash the Power of Life in Christ

The Hole in Our Gospel: What does God expect of Us? The Answer that Changed my Life and Might Just Change the World

Called to Worship: The Biblical Foundations of Our Response to God's Call

Armageddon's Children (The Genesis of Shannara, Book 1)

Transparency vs. Secretiveness

Some readers might question why I am so forthright and transparent in recording even my negative thoughts on this blog. Couldn’t someone take it and use it against me? Of course. I fully expect it could happen. I fully expect what I have written to be taken out of context and manipulated to say what I never intended. Do I care? Yes and no. Yes, I care that someone may be so insecure as to do that. No, because no power on on earth can change or destroy the confidence that I have in Christ’s love for me (Romans 8:31-39).

I write here because there just might be someone who is experiencing similar problems who can know that they are not alone. I write here because I don’t believe in hiding my thoughts, even negative ones. I don’t believe in pretending that everything is okay when everything is not. I believe there is more redeeming power in revealing our struggles and how Christ works through them than there is in the “nice Christian” stories and clichés (one might term that “Churchianity”). If you don’t agree, that’s okay. Just don’t be dogmatic about it.

Alice in Wonderland

The High School production of Alice in Wonderland began last night. I went to tonight’s showing to take some photos. Shelley plays the part of the Duchess.

No more sermons

No more for the foreseeable future unless something changes.

Because I have resigned from the pastoral duties of the church, I am apparently no longer welcome to provide the sermon during the church hour. I have not received this as a formal statement, but only as rumors, innuendos, and implied-read-between-the-lines statements.

Apparently I am still welcome to lead and teach in every other way. If my preaching is so threatening and dangerous, shouldn’t my teaching be as well… The stupefying illogic rises to new wonders and astonishment.

Whatever…

My apathy level regarding the Seventh-day Adventist political organization and those that feed into it and from it are about 99.999%.

So there you go.

February Picnic

This past Saturday, at the initiative of one of our parishioners, we went out to Blind Slough rather than hold a regular church service. It was a sunny day, though a tad cool. Even though there was a thin layer of ice on the water, it was more like spring than winter.

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Spring in February?

That’s what it felt like today. The temperature warmed up to almost 50 degrees and the sun came out for a bit, though now it is mostly cloudy and breezy.

I went out on the bike for a short, 45 minute spin. I couldn’t find my arm warmers so I went out with just a short sleeve jersey and a wind vest. Fifty degrees is still too cold for shorts so I had leg warmers. This is the lightest cycling clothing I’ve ever worn around here in February. Normally I’d be wearing a long sleeve jersey, perhaps a jacket, and wind-and-water-proof pants.

On another topic, Shelley made it out of Juneau yesterday, but the ferry broke down in Sitka. She is stuck there today. If the boat doesn’t get repaired, they will be on the next ferry leaving Sitka tomorrow and arriving here on Wednesday.

Shelley is stuck in Juneau

Shelley was supposed to return today but the ferry broke down. The scheduled return is now early morning on Wednesday.

No sermon yesterday

There was no sermon yesterday. Not because it is related to any of the things going on earlier, nor because I didn’t have one ready to go, but because we spent something like two hours working through the defense Stephen gave before the council (Acts 7).

School News

There are a number of items about Shelley and school to report on today.

First, she is currently in Juneau as part of the Drama, Debate, and Forensics team. She joined this semester and this is her first school trip away from home. She returns Sunday.

Second, Shelley will be part of the cast of the High School production of Alice in Wonderland. She has been hard at work rehearsing her part and also doing a lot of work putting together the costumes. Her sewing skills have been noticed.

Third, Shelley submitted a marine themed art (colored pencil) to the Tsunami Bowl Art Show. The Tsunami Bowl is a regional competition for high schools on ocean sciences. The competition includes research papers and quizzes for the school teams, and also includes an art show aspect. Shelley won Best in Show for her artwork. The High School art department was awarded $500 for the win. We received an invitation for next Tuesday, February 16, where the Petersburg City School Board, during their monthly Student Recognition, will recognize Shelley’s achievement in art.

Since Shelley seems to enjoy and excel at drama, theater production, and art, perhaps there is a future career direction found in one or more of those areas.

When you get KOed…

Apparently the psalmist knows a thing or two about getting knocked down and beat up. One of my short devotional pieces this morning referenced Psalm 42, so I looked it up. (This is the chapter that begins, “As the deer longs for streams of water…” NLT) Translation notes for the psalm indicate that this and the next psalm, Psalm 43 were originally a single psalm.

The psalmist knows about discouragement, distress, depression. In these two chapters a refrain is repeated three times. I like the way the New Living Translation translates the refrain:

Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again -
my Savior and my God!

End of a chapter

I have chosen to resign as the pastor for the local Adventist church. A new district pastor came last summer and after a number of interactions, came to the conclusion that the differences were simply insurmountable at this time. This, in addition to some of the other things that have transpired over the past half year, I could sense my entire well-being – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual – coming apart and I simply could not continue.

I guess it is now time to see what happens next.

Sermon: Leaving to Learn Fishing

(Click HERE for MP3 sermon audio.)

Text: Mark 1:16-20

This passage narrates one of the callings (the others are found in John and Luke; Matthew provides the same event as Mark) of Peter, Andrew, James, and John to follow Jesus. As it follows the summary message of the gospel and what it involves to accept it, this narrative could be understood to provide a prototypical example of what accepting the gospel looks like.

Mark describes the discipleship process as that of leaving the past behind and following Jesus in order to become fishers of people. How might this example be applied in each of our experiences?

Sermon: Two-Way Street

(Click HERE for MP3 sermon audio.)

Text: Mark 1:14-15

This passage is Mark’s (and Peter’s; c.f., sermons by Peter recorded in Acts) summary of Jesus’ gospel. This passage is an allusion to a prophecy regarding the coming Messiah that is found in Isaiah 9, and to the seventy sevens prophecy (also about the Messiah) in Daniel 9.

The hearers were expecting the Messiah, but not quite the message that Jesus brought. They understood the offer of deliverance and salvation (the first part of Jesus’ message), but the second part regarding their need to respond in repentance and faith would have been quite foreign to most and even offensive to some. But that is Jesus’ gospel message: the offer of salvation is available to all, but it is of no effect unless a person responds and begins the process of repentance – a journey of life-change – through dependence upon the power of God through the Holy Spirit.

Not quite freezing and a bit of sun

The last couple of days have been fairly good for winter. Temperatures have been in the mid to upper 30’s and there’s even been a bit of sunshine. There’s been quite a bit of fog during the early morning hours.

Before things got really stressful this afternoon, I did go out and bicycle the loop while running the Post Office errand. It was dry enough to pull down the road bike. It is always such a pleasure to ride the light, fast bike after pushing the heavy behemoth of the studded tire mountain bike for so many weeks and months. Even so, I could tell after the twenty minute ride that my legs were no longer in very good shape. The cold always seems to sap strength as well.

Facing a spiritual battle

Now that I look at it, things must have started developing sometime last week. Today though, I’ve felt an almost oppressive sense of evil around me. As Adventist, and a North American one at that, my faith is probably best described as intellectual and rational. Sure, I believe in the supernatural but most of the time it seems to be removed from everyday life.

Not this week, and particularly not today.

I sense evil closing in around me, seeking to destroy God’s ministry that I am a part of, and perhaps even destroy my life.

I preached this past Sabbath on Jesus’ temptation [testing] and how the Holy Spirit gives Christians strength to battle Satan. I didn’t think it would come so quickly or so forcefully. Frankly, I am terrified. It’s easy to preach about battling evil but to truly live out the belief is quite another thing.

I picked up Desire of Ages tonight and began reading the chapter on Jesus’ temptation. I found the following:

Whenever one is encompassed with clouds, perplexed by circumstances, or afflicted by poverty or distress, Satan is at hand to tempt and annoy. He attacks our weak points of character. He seeks to shake our confidence in God, who suffers such a condition of things to exist. We are tempted to distrust God, to question His love. Often the tempter comes to us as he came to Christ, arraying before us our weakness and infirmities. He hopes to discourage the soul, and to break our hold on God. Then he is sure of his prey… (120-1)

That is exactly what I am experiencing. My prayer today, repeated over and over, has been a quote from author Anne Lamott, “Help me, help me, help me,” because I don’t know how else to pray. I hope that I will be able to pray her second prayer soon, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

What makes an activity and time more valuable?

At our [town pastors’] weekly morning coffee the discussion turned to youth ministry and how difficult it was to get any significant youth attendance at weeknight (or even weekend) programs. The primary reason was all of the school extra-curricular activities and sports that goes on. There was lament that the youth weren’t nearly as passionate about Christ (meaning they didn’t prioritize attendance at church programs) as they were about basketball or drama.

The a priori assumption of this discussion was that church activities are more valuable than “secular” ones, such as those provided by the public schools. Is this assumption correct? Is time spent in church and church programs more valuable than time spent in non-church activities? Is religious instruction and socialization with predominantly church people more valuable than enjoying activities that utilize one’s skills and interests, and which involves socialization and interaction with non-church people? Is it proper to divide activities and time between what is sacred/holy and secular/profane, between what is clean – ritually pure – and unclean – ritually impure – (using the Old Testament Levitical terms)? I wonder…

Was Jesus’ attendance at the wedding in Cana a secular or sacred activity? Matthew’s banquet, which Jesus attended, and was for primarily for non-synagogue folks, was that secular or sacred? Jesus seemed to attract negative comments from “church” leaders for spending too much time outside “church” sanctioned activities…

I know there are good reasons to bring church youth together. It can be a time of encouragement. It can be a time to be reminded what it means to follow Christ. It can be a time that is more free (notice I don’t say completely free) from the bad influences of the world. There is value, but does this make organized youth church programs more valuable than other activities?

I think youth programs make it easier for churches and church leaders to work with youth since they are all together in one place at one time. But would youth ministry be any less if, rather than programs, we simply took the time to listen and be involved in the things the youth already are?

Sermon: On Satan’s Turf

(Click HERE for MP3 sermon audio.)

Text: Mark 1:9-13

The Christian life is not necessarily a passive one. Jesus, filled with the Spirit, battled Satan and won the victory over temptation, thereby showing that sin is no match for God and demonstrating the power to redeem sinners from sin. When a person is filled with the Holy Spirit, they could be called to battle Satan on his turf, just as Jesus was compelled to do, in order to bring the message of the gospel to those suffering from the disease of sin and its effects. The Holy Spirit assures Christians that they are not alone in this battle, and that indeed, victory is assured.

Sermon: Good News! You’re Sick

(Click HERE for MP3 sermon audio.)

Text: Mark 1:2-8

We (almost?) never consider to be terribly good news tidings that declare us to be sick. But could an accurate and timely diagnosis be good news if we look at it from a different perspective?

The gospel account begins with a diagnosis of the spiritual condition of all who are born into this world. “You are a sinner,” at first hearing doesn’t seem to be terribly good news. But could it be good news, if we look at it from a different perspective? After all, it is part of the gospel, aka good news.

Sermon: The Rest of the Gospel

(Click HERE for MP3 sermon audio.)

Text: Mark 1:1

We begin a new series based on the gospel account by Mark.

Mark 1:1 reads, “The beginning of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.” (ESV) Scholars now identify this first verse to be a title and many believe it is the title for the entire book. If Mark’s account is the beginning, then what is the rest of the gospel?

This sermon introduces the gospel account by Mark: historical context, audience, some of the themes, literary features, etc. and how these things will inform our interpretation and understanding of the gospel as we continue to study Mark and what that means to live out the gospel in our lives today.

New Years 2010

Happy New Year!

It’s only been a few hours since Alaska welcomed in the New Year. I got all the cooking done and on time.

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Added a few more photos that include guests and family.