Now that I look at it, things must have started developing sometime last week. Today though, I’ve felt an almost oppressive sense of evil around me. As Adventist, and a North American one at that, my faith is probably best described as intellectual and rational. Sure, I believe in the supernatural but most of the time it seems to be removed from everyday life.
Not this week, and particularly not today.
I sense evil closing in around me, seeking to destroy God’s ministry that I am a part of, and perhaps even destroy my life.
I preached this past Sabbath on Jesus’ temptation [testing] and how the Holy Spirit gives Christians strength to battle Satan. I didn’t think it would come so quickly or so forcefully. Frankly, I am terrified. It’s easy to preach about battling evil but to truly live out the belief is quite another thing.
I picked up Desire of Ages tonight and began reading the chapter on Jesus’ temptation. I found the following:
Whenever one is encompassed with clouds, perplexed by circumstances, or afflicted by poverty or distress, Satan is at hand to tempt and annoy. He attacks our weak points of character. He seeks to shake our confidence in God, who suffers such a condition of things to exist. We are tempted to distrust God, to question His love. Often the tempter comes to us as he came to Christ, arraying before us our weakness and infirmities. He hopes to discourage the soul, and to break our hold on God. Then he is sure of his prey… (120-1)
That is exactly what I am experiencing. My prayer today, repeated over and over, has been a quote from author Anne Lamott, “Help me, help me, help me,” because I don’t know how else to pray. I hope that I will be able to pray her second prayer soon, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
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