What causes paranoia in organizations? How can I lead to overcome it – consistently?
Takers, givers, and matchers – three types of people/relationships.
Matching is quid pro quo. It attempts to balance. But it's it the best way to live?
Narcissists are one type of taker. But givers and matches who have been burned once too much may become takers.
Givers are the worst performers. Across the board. Givers are too busy helping others to be a success.
Our blind spot: we don't know our real style. Many think they are givers when they are really takers.
Takers are not usually the best performers. They may have initial success but then they meet the matchers. Matchers are the "karma police". Most people operate as matchers by default. Takers are often the loudest at pointing out faults of other takers.
Givers are the best performers. And the worst performers. They end up on both ends. Givers often fail in the short term, but succeed in the long. Givers' advantage is time: time to learn and to build social capital.
How to avoid paranoia: It is important – critical – to keep takers off your team. Matchers follow the norm. In the absence of takers matchers become givers.
Areeableness and taker/giver are on two separate axis. It is easy to spot disagreeable takers and agreeable givers. The other two are more difficult to spot but important to discern. How do you spot an agreeable taker? You don't want them. Givers use personal pronouns in terms of their own failures. Ask questions about motivations: people project their own motivations and behaviors onto hypothetical cars.
How to encourage giving: do five-minute favors. Short, doesn't have to be long-term. Create a culture of asking for help.
Takers can become givers when the cultural norm is giving.
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