Stress is getting to me

Over the last few weeks, I've encountered, and still going through, a number of stressful events. By themselves, I may not have really noticed too much, but all of them coming together in a short span have resulted in my body simply no longer physically able to adequately handle it. It's showing up in my blood pressure readings. I've been having unexplained headaches that nothing will alleviate.

I have a little wrist-based BP meter that my mom gave me some years back. It was in one of the boxes that I was digging through last week. So just to see, I used it and discovered that the measurements were in the area that, based on past experience, I know for me results in headaches and generally ill feelings.

I got to thinking about all the things that have happened and quickly realized why my body is reacting the way it is.

• Elise being away for 1.5 weeks, of which a couple of the days were unexpected absences because the weather wouldn't permit planes to land.
• Our property sale being handled during that same period, having to deal with signing papers across states and time zones.
• Wondering if the sale will actually close -- all indications are that it will today or tomorrow. The purchasers have signed their papers and all that's left is for the funds to be disbursed.
• Elise's mom and our niece coming to visit for a week coninciding with Elise's return. Additional people and disruptions of schedule on top of an already stressful period multiplies the stres level.
• Elise's nursing license situation. She found out today that in order to get an Alaska license, it requires her to hold a valid license elsewhere. In all her converstations with the hospital here and the Board in Anchorage, despite hearing that Elise doesn't have a current valid license anywhere, no one seemed to realize that that would be a problem until the application process went through. Let's just say Elise is not a happy camper -- a rather frustrated, angry, and depressed camper... maybe... but not happy. And that again contributes to the overall negative stress level. Again, our plans get tossed the window, or at least delayed due to uncertainties and circumstances beyond our control. Elise is now working through the process to regain her California license, because that appears to be the most feasible and shortest route.
• The church heating bill (heating oil) has been around $450/month the last two months. The regular contributions might come to that each month. So what we have is a negative cash flow. As the weather warms up things should improve, but still, it isn't good. The usual response is: Well, we need to increase our membership. But I have a problem with that. If the only or main reason to increase membership is to bring in more funds to keep the church open, then we shouldn't have a church building. We're planning a business meeting in a couple of weeks and having to present this little "problem" weighs on my mind.

Yesterday, I was close to non-functional because of all the things weighing upon my mind. I couldn't even get up the mental energies to put together a plan for our weekly children's choir rehearsal. So I went in last night with basically no plan -- except to wing it -- something I normally would never choose to do for anything. There must have been a power greater than me working things out and helping me, because not only did the rehearsal go about as well as it ever have gone, but as the evening progressed, I just felt better. Elise commented on that last aspect as we were heading home.

I think one reason for why I felt better after going through the rehearsal might have to do with the fact that this little choir, even though it's just four right now -- our two plus two other girls -- it is the one tangible difference that we seem to be making on a regular basis. The two girls that aren't ours, enjoy the hour we spend each week, and they are learning the songs. Last evening, we started working on a song that uses two-part harmony.

The other things we do, whether the regular church services or the cooking class, or the stop smoking class that we want to do, they're long-term efforts and we haven't really seen any results, good or bad, from those things yet.

Even though the my conscious efforts and thinking does everything possible to reduce stress, more exercise, more water, more prayer; the subconscious still reacts in a negative manner.

We desperately need your prayers. First for a sort of healing so that my negative stress goes down, my subconscious can find some rest, and I can feel better. Secondly, for Elise's nursing licensing process to proceed with no more major stumbling blocks. Thirdly, for Elise's general well-being through all of this.

God's ways are not our ways, the Bible tells us. Wait on the Lord, it also tells us. How much more have we to learn about this, I wonder? Just when we think we could see down the road, we discover that there is yet another unmarked bend in the road.